I was recently strolling through the Bay, the venerable Canadian department store founded before the earth cooled^, and noticed a very stylish winter coat. It seemed to beckon me over with a wink and a smile and, being that Canada is on the cusp of becoming the frozen wasteland into which it turns for eight months a year, I stopped to lovingly gawk at it. However, what I noticed on the tag made me take two steps backwards. I spied (gasp!) a Barbie logo on the label. I did a double take — had I somehow wandered into the tween section? Was it just some designer trying to garner attention by changing her name to Barbie and using pink ink and puffy lettering?
Now, please prepare yourself for a true Texas girl rant. Alas, no. It was neither me wandering off course in the department store nor an impersonating designer. Rather, what I spied was a Barbie clothing line created by David Dixon, who is surely the devil reincarnated. As if the standard by which women are judged isn’t stringent enough, now we have to deal with Barbie clothes for real stick people? I mean, who comes up with these cockamamied ideas anyway? I can just imagine it: a boardroom is filled with highly paid executives trying their best to think up the next “it” thing that’s going to be featured on Oprah’s “Favourite Things” list and make everyone a bazillion dollars. Exec A says to Exec B “hey, I’ve always thought Barbie was hot. And well-dressed. I used to steal my sister’s Barbies to play with them, but, of course, no one else needs to know that. Anyway, what about coming up with a Barbie clothing line?! You know, real life Barbie clothes. Average size 12 adult women would *kill* to be dressed like Barbie, and, I bet they’d even pay through the nose for the chance, too!”
Am I the only one who believes that this kind of ridiculousness isn’t really some kind of patriarchical manifesto aimed at keeping wimmin down?! I mean, doesn’t the very idea of a Barbie clothes line equal a serious revert to an era where Mad Men are running around chain-smoking and making untoward advances at their secretaries? What will they think of next? Some other thing requiring more de-programming of gender stereotypes, no doubt; a perfectionist fallacy, to be sure. Next thing you know, we’ll be getting dating tips from a 50 year-old plastic doll. 😉
Phew! That is all. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a fierce winter coat to try on. 😉
^No kidding — it was seriously founded in 1669. I know this because I made the lengthy and concerted effort to click through the six (!) links it took me to get to their history. Actually, I didn’t even know there *was* a Canada in 1669. I guess I stand corrected.