Monthly Archives: April 2008

Let’s Go to the Movies

Not unlike our gas prices, the penalties for DVD piracy are apparently going up. I recently rented an older DVD (“Network”, to be precise) and because my DVD player was manufactured circa 1995, I was unable to forward through the obligatory federal notices about illegal copying prior to the beginning of the film. Parked on my sofa with my extra large sweet iced tea, I happened to notice that the penalty for piracy on said page was $250,000 and went on about my movie watching. Last week, I rented “Gone Baby Gone” (most twisted movie plot I’ve ever experienced – Ben must have learned a thing or two from the whole J.Lo debacle after all) and noticed that the penalty for piracy this time was $260,000. So here’s my take: if $250,000 didn’t dissuade you from illegally burning those copies of “Dan in Real Life” for your buddies at the gym, would $260,000? The point here is, shop for the best rates before you illegally copy dvd’s. You could save yourself 10G’s.

Although there finally look to be some great flicks out (and a long time coming, I might add) I am for some reason mentally unable to get myself to the actual movies theatre. My litmus test these days is whether I really want to shell out $13 for a movie, plus another $5 for an extra-small coke watered down with too much ice. Standing at the concession stand, my face always gives me away. Says the 12 year old working behind the counter, “only $2 more for the gallon big gulp size, ma’am (ma’am?!). And you get a free refill, too”. As if my bladder can possibly retain 72 gallons of liquid in a two hour time span at this age. What i’m saying is that $18 for one person to spend on a movie is about as steep as the Cliff Hanger game on the “Price is Right” and believe me, I hum that little theme song all the way to theatre #12. Don’t they realize I could have not 2, but 3, glasses of decent red wine at my local watering hole for that amount? At least I’d get a buzz from that 9 times out of 10.

Money notwithstanding, I believe my real issue is one of control. While Canadian audiences are FAR more respectful than American audiences are with regards to being quiet and not talking or answering their phone during movies, I have no control over when the kid behind me who snuck in to see the R rated movie and who constantly kicks my chair is going to loudly scarf down his popcorn and yell over to his friend “what did he say?”. I can neither spread out in my pajamas under my favorite blanket nor hit rewind when I inevitably fall asleep for 15 minutes during the movie as I’m known to do. I’m not saying I’ll never go to the movies again – far from it. I thoroughly enjoyed “Juno” when I saw it and while I wasn’t necessarily convinced that 16 year olds today are anywhere near as witty as the character was written, I also know that a movie about a 29 year old pregnant woman who smokes a pipe could pass as a documentary on being a grandmother in Alabama…and I’m bettin’ nobody would fork over 18 bucks for that one.

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How I Know It’s Spring

two words: open patios.

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Why People Live in Canada

I have a prescription that I have filled each month. When I went into the pharmacy to reorder it, as I had silly-ly thrown away the label the month prior, the pharmacist asked if Iwanted to get more than one at a time. Of course, I said absolutely! After all, who wants to be bothered with walking two blocks to the drugstore every month? 

I picked up the prescriptions today and get this — I paid $2 for a 3 month supply of a brand name drug. Yes, you heard me correctly and yes, you can do the math. That brings the annual cost to a whopping $8. I was paying $15 per month in the States, or $180 a year. Of course, when you think about it, I’m definitely paying the same amount for the drug, if not more, through the exorbitantly high taxes I pay in Canada. As a matter of fact, gas is currently hovering around $5.24 a gallon, which Imay or may not have previously mentioned. I’m still in electroshock therapy from that and my therapist has told me that talking and journaling about the excess is the only way to remedy it. But I digress.

Still, a very happy girl I am when I can pick up a 3 month supply of something for $2. I skipped away like a giddy schoolgirl on the last day of class – “you’re the one that i want…ooh, ooh, ooh, honey.”

Eight dollars for a one year supply of drugs. This is why people live in canada.

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Swap Shop and Such

i’ve just discovered the most peculiar television show. it’s called “Swap Shop” and it’s on a local toronto channel on saturday and sunday mornings. it’s essentially a live craig’s list on television. a televised craig’s list you ask? wait, it gets better. people call in from all over the gta (that’s thet “greater toronto area” for those of you who don’t have the privilege of living through 7′ of snow during the lovely winter months) and try to sell their shit. most of the time, the hosts who are about 12 and just got out of junior high for summer break, can barely contain themselves. all kinds of people call in and part of the fun is really listening to their sad little stories about where they acquired their “item” and why they want to sell it. imagine “antiques roadshow” full of country bumpkins whose most recent technology purchase is their brita water filter. but i digress. this sunday, a man called in to sell his collection of – wait for it – “beverly hillbillies” VHS TAPES. for $300! no, i do not kid. he informed the public that he bought them over the course of 2 years and paid over $800 retail. this, my friends, is a show that simply cannot be missed. this is the reason i relocated to canada – quality television programming.

in other news, it seems the canadians know more about the US presidential election than we do. i thought a fight was actually going to break out at my office today over who will get the democratic nom – obama or hillary. i thought to myself “9 out of 10 americans, no wait – 10 out of 10 americans likely could not name the canadian prime minister and yet my esteemed colleagues, who are canadian i might remind you, were asking each other “well, are you democrat or republican?”. it’s a wacky world out there.

in parting – have you all heard the news? i may potentially be having a life altering experience this summer. george michael is going on tour. i know – once you pick yourself up off the floor from the sheer excitement, get to the horn immediately and buy your tickets. careless whisper? freedom ’90? all live? i can already feel the pitter patter of my heart.

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No She Didn’t

i’m not a fan of “the bachelor” but as i was sitting here blogging, i happened to have the show on. seriously.

so the new hunky british bachelor (who is rumoured to have recently been seen out with a bachelorette who was not one of his bachelorettes on the show – naughty, naughty) just told one chick “you’re handling this all really well. you’re really taking this all in stride” and i kid you not, without skipping a beat, the girl giggled sheepishly and said “hee hee, what does that mean?”.

insert jaw dropping and eye bulging here.

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